I chose the title When up is down for my blog site as to me it explains so much. When the person using drugs is up on the drug you the parent/family/friend are usually feeling or experiencing a down.By down I mean it is difficult to laugh, smile, fear can often consume you, life looks and feels dark, you feel down, so when they are up, you are down.
My son died of a heroin overdose in 2008. He died at home in his bedroom with his brother and myself in the home unaware he had passed away. My younger son applied CPR for 20 minutes while we waited for the ambulance to arrive. The evening tumbled rapidly into a deep hole of despair, distress, confusion, police, coroners and detectives.
For now I am a mother, a nana and an ordinary person continuing to make sense of the death of my son. Although he died eight years ago the memories can feel like yesterday. I can still hear his voice, I can still see his tortured soul as he battled addiction.
So who am I?
I am the one who called him my hero. I am the one who was still prepared to dance with him, to hold him, to wash away his and my tears. I am his mother. I am also the mother of my two other children that I would do exactly the same for.
Against addiction I was powerless. I will not let his death be in vain, families must rally to remove the stigma around drug use so the very best love, support , help and treatment can be found.